kismet_loop | (no subject)

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[Haveners who have been on Earth and inclined to trawl its internet may've come across the viral video of a cat going 'no no no no no...' This video isn't that video, but it sounds sort of similar.]

This is cruel and unusual punishment! I demand to-- to speak to a lawyer or-- or a youth representative! Put me down!

[Sam's calm amidst all these objections, carrying her housemate in both arms, like a bundle of branches. Twiggy thing that he is, it isn't unduly difficult; she's got his sleeves twisted tight in one fist and his pantlegs caught in the other to keep him from flailing as she limps through the apartment. Moving with definite purpose, she reaches what has to be Hiro's room and enters, pausing to prod at what's probably the bed (covered as it is in laundry) with one foot. Satisfied that the clothes aren't hiding anything hard, Sam steps back---once, twice, thrice---and then throws the teen onto the mound-topped mattress.]

Ow! [Yeah, he's overexaggerating, but still, this is very unfair, considering his crime was something so mild. Sam wasn't even going to USE all those ingredients in whatever delicious thing she was baking, right?]

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Getting into trouble, huh, kid?

Edited (Clearly I'm too tired to know the dif between action and video tonight.) 2016-05-12 05:16 (UTC)

[SO GROUCHY.] Why do you assume it's MY fault?

[smirk widens] Because it’s you, kid.

And what have you gotten up to this time, Hiro?

Me? Nothing! I'm totally innocent here!

Mm-hmm. Why am I not convinced?

Because you've met him!

[It's not that Sam doesn't care, but that she knows Hiro is unhurt in spite of his 'ow!' She steps out of the room and shuts the door, holding the knob on her side in case Hiro decides to come after her and/or her ingredients.]

Toldja no, told you stop, told you piss off, but did you listen? Nooo.

[Hiro is still busy being melodramatic and flopping around, so for the moment the door stays closed.]

Well, yeah, but I didn't know you were SERIOUS.

Now you're older and wiser.

And hungrier. And more upside-down and traumatized....ier.

How can you be hungrier? You've had whole fistfuls of dough, and pepperoni, and cheese.

[A pause.]

I'm hungry...for justice.

Are you sure that's what you want?

[Be warned, kiddo: that sounds like Sam planning to dispense some justice very soon.]

Edited 2016-05-20 07:13 (UTC)

....well. I was. [The door is getting a very suspicious look.] But only because I figured justice meant...pepperoni.

Nah, justice means the next time you steal a part of this meal still in preparation, I noogie you until you feel remorse.

[The short length of Hiro's pause suggests that he's not actually thought about this at all.] That's a problem for future me.

[Okay.]

[Alright.]

[It is time to make A Bad Decision. And so, Sam steps away from the door and begins walking back to the kitchenette, calling over a shoulder,]

Come on, then, if you think you won't be sorry.

[Hiro pauses for about three and a half seconds, then sloooowly pushes the door open.]

...is this a trap?

Yes.

...are you saying it's a trap to make me think it isn't a trap so I'll walk into the trap?

Maybe!

[At this point, she'll say whatever might keep Hiro busy conversing so that the pizza monkey bread she means to make can bake before any more monkey business goes down.]

...are you diverting me? [Yeah, he's hurrying into the kitchen now and making a face at Sam.] You totally were! Classic supervillain tactic!

Maybe. Probably. Yeah. [Of course, as Hiro comes around the corner he'll see one (1) entirely unrepentant skin-witch brandishing a spatula even as she continues to shove handfuls of dough, meat, and cheese into a bundt pan.] What about it, bud? You gonna make this into some big thing?

[Hiro can admit when he's beaten, holding up both hands in surrender and sloooowly backing towards the fridge.] No big thing, no trouble, chill.

[See look, he's just gonna grab the olive jar and eat all of THOSE instead. Compromise~]

You're gonna ruin your supper. And, and, and...! You should save some for me.

Don't be an ass.

[what is going on here even. why are they fighting. why is Sam hurting Hiro. he's so confused.] Is everything... okay?

[Hiro is being PERSECUTED, SAVE HIM.]

She's a cruel and unusual tyrant!

[Muffled, and off-screen:]

I'm not cruel.

[HE IS SO CONFUSE Y R U SO MEAN NOW WAT HAPPEN]

I... do not understand. What has happened? I am worried.

[Whispering:] Sam has been possessed by an evil demon and needs to be exorcised immediately.

Help help, I'm being repressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system!

That's how this goes, right?

[LEAST AMUSED FACE EVER.] That movie's like a zillion years old.

Well then it makes sense an old bot like me'd know about it.

Do you know anything about, um...martial law? Are we under martial law around here?

[from off-screen]

Yes.

Welp, looks like that answers it. You need a friendly invasion to topple the ruthless dictator?

Um, yes. Do you have a flamethrower?

[Well, it won't be long before backup arrives then?]

Sorry, Rabbit's the one with the flamethrower not me.

[The ninja totally hasn't actually met Hiro yet, though Sam had mentioned the teen to him. The multi-changer mech looked like he was trying to keep his ninja serious face]

I'd have to give that landing a 6 there, but that could be Sams fault on the toss.

[At least he looked friendly and was obviously teasing the teen in greeting. New face distraction perhaps? He's totally cool Hiro. he's a ninja]

[Huffy face is momentarily distracted because: ninja.]

The toss was clouded by her personal judgement and bias against me. I'm totally innocent and my landing was awesome.

[The mech gives the teen an amused grin, the face despite being robotic and man made compared to a cybertronian was very expressive]

I'm sure, I'll reconsider the landing score in light of that appeal then.

[Boss was younger then Hiro, so Maru had practice with teens. The ninja mech was fairly laid back, giving a nod in greeting]

I am Shadowmaru by the way, it is nice to meet you.

[After several months spent getting used to the cybertronians, it's both exciting and strange to see a new face, so to speak. Have a grin in return.]

Hiro. Nice to meet you. The chick committing crimes against innocent kids is Sam. Are you new here?

[Maru chuckled at the teen. Sam hadn't been joking when she'd mentioned him]

I'm still somewhat new yes, been fairly bored as of late.

[He can't fly as a jet all to high thanks to the miasma, there's only so many times he can play fetch with himself in canine form, cruising in vehicle form got dull, as did epic poses on buildings because, sigh, ninja life could get very dull without a mission. We won't mention the tank alt and the havoc he could accidentally cause.]

Oh, dude, that sucks. This place is actually really cool! You've just gotta get to know people. What d'you do back in your world?

[Shadowmaru grinned at the teen in amusement chuckling.]

I was with a group called the Brave police. I was their resident ninja.

[Robo ninjas man-crazy.]

~~Oh my god I'm so sorry my email/DW ate the notif you'd responded and its so late D:~~

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