kismet_loop | [video]

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[video]

[Sam's broadcasting from a seat at Your Place, a milkshake on the table in front of her.]

Having now completed a couple years of it, I'm now pretty sure everyone under a hundred is improvising this 'real adult' stuff. And as for the rest of you? [She grins a crooked little grin, pointing at the camera with a cherry stem.] I've got some suspicions still.

[The broadcast would end there---and does, briefly---but the network's treated to Hiro hijacking Sam's drone to properly inform other Haveners.]

Hey, so, uh, what Sam means is that it's her birthday and she's just being cryptic. So, y'know. Don't let her forget it.

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Everyone moves, though. And I dunno if taking me in is adult, really.

[Suspicion ahoy.] Does that one have headcheese in it?

That's true, but I went north to south by myself, and then west to east by myself, so I'm counting it and I am counting taking you in because it's meant acting adult more than I might. Someone's gotta throw fruit and vegetables at you, even if they are at time being literally thrown.

No, but it's got the closest thing here to Kraken.

Well, yeah, I guess. You were all alone. Also you can drive, right? That's pretty adult. [Have a pause where Hiro tries to think what else qualifies as a grown-up activity.

Aaaaand leaning far away from her and the milkshake.] Did you put squid in that milkshake, Sam?!

Yep. My moves, I drove myself cross-country. Had a big old suburban with the back seats torn out so I could stick my Articat in it.

[Her first answer is a very small smile.]

What do you think?

Did you ever get mugged by a drifter? [Hiro's ideas about road trips are...odd.

Also have a squinty face.] I think you're just crazy enough to do it.

No, why do you ask?

[Hiro's ideas about lots of things are odd.]

I'm just crazy enough to do a lot of questionable things, but no, there is no squid or squidlike creature in this milkshake.

...curiosity.

[The shake still gets a mistrustful face.] Then what IS in it?

Do I seem insufficiently cautious or somethin'?

[The mistrustful face is fine, since Sam doesn't plan on sacrificing her shake to Hiro's INSATIABLE APPETITE.]

Dark spiced rum.

Nah, I just figured it was something that just sort of happened.

[That gets a momentary thoughtful face, then a very slooooow reach forward. He is undeterred, whoops.]

Ah.

[Sam will just as slowly lean away, taking her shake with her.]

Hold up, buddy. You can have a taste, but we're going to have to have a talk. Goes back to that whole 'adult' bit, and being what you've got for a guardian.

[Hiro frowns, slumping over the table, cheek resting on it.]

Guardian? Makes it sound like you're some kinda ancient cursed cryptkeeper. Guardian of the abyss. Woooo.

I'd say 'legal guardian' but it's not like legality is a great or pressing concern.

[Sam pauses, having heard herself.]

Calvaire, câlisse, et crisse, I sound like such a stellar influence. But anyway.

I love karaoke, and used to go out to karaoke a lot. Consequently, I have seen a lot of shitshows, many involving the underaged in some state. So, now is as good a time as any to tell you that if you are going to have more than a taste of anything with alcohol in, I want it to either be at home, with me, or after at least telling me where you are, what you're doing, and who you're with. I'm gonna gently discourage you until you're older, but the bottom line? I'd rather have it out in the open and know you're not in a situation than try to crack down and not know.

Is there any sort of legal system here? Is anything illegal? Can I double dip my chips now?

[Hiro laughs a little at that, propping his chin in his hands and listening seriously.] Okay...that sounds, uh. Fair?

I've met cops here so yes, there is a legal system and yes, there are illegal things---I just dealt with Dirge myself because I wanted him to be afraid of me, not the police. And you could always double-dip, even though it's rude; your germs don't scare me.

[Sam nods.]

Good.

Y'think it worked? I mean, I'd be pretty scared if I were him.

[That settled, Hiro looks hopefully at the milkshake. Really, he's in it for the sugar, not the alcohol, but his curiosity's been piqued.]

I do. I mean, I had Soundwave verifying his sincerity when he signed the contract [yeah you know the one she had printed poster-sized and framed above the couch] and at the time I'd told him that if he ever breached it, I wouldn't stop at his tongue---I'd take his fuckin' eyes, too. You'll pardon me; the promise loses a little of its oomph if it isn't verbatim.

[Sam slides the shake across the table, shrugging and smiling as she does.]

Banana shake, splash of rum, caramel drizzle. Happy birthday to me!

...can Soundwave like, read minds? Cause I totally called that.

[Hiro takes a slow sip. Pauses. Takes another. Slowly wrinkles up his face and awkwardly slides it back across the table.]

Banana, ew. [It's a lie and a transparent one, but he's about five seconds away from gagging because of the alcohol aftertaste.]

Yep.

[Sam watches with mild interest, a little amused as she accepts the glass back.]

Lemme recommend something like.... Oh, I dunno, a tin lizzy shake instead. That should be sugary enough.

[Hiro rapidly shakes his head and -- yep, that's a barely audible gagging sound. Someone's going to stay faaaar away from alcohol for a while.]

I-I'm good.

Just to get the taste out of your mouth, I mean. Nothing in that but ice cream and sundae toppings. Or some water?

[Making faces now.] Ice cream's good.

[Sam gets up, pats Hiro on the head, and limps over to the edge of the human-sized seating space to call the order down. At least it's not too busy, this time of day; when it's ready, there'll be no hunting for her table. Returning, she plunks into her seat and regards Hiro curiously.]

Kiddo, when's your birthday?

[Hiro gets all his gagging/grossed out faces done while Sam's back is turned, then just settles down with his cheek propped on one hand to wait it out until he gets ice cream.

The question gets a pause, like he actually has to think about it.] April 2nd.

[Another pause, then:] Wait, is it your birthday?

It is! Or just past, more like. You know how it is with the long days.

[Have a look somewhere between surprised and horrified.] And you didn't tell anyone?

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