[video]

[10_20_15_5_50]

[Sam's broadcasting from a seat at Your Place, a milkshake on the table in front of her.]

Having now completed a couple years of it, I'm now pretty sure everyone under a hundred is improvising this 'real adult' stuff. And as for the rest of you? [She grins a crooked little grin, pointing at the camera with a cherry stem.] I've got some suspicions still.

[The broadcast would end there---and does, briefly---but the network's treated to Hiro hijacking Sam's drone to properly inform other Haveners.]

Hey, so, uh, what Sam means is that it's her birthday and she's just being cryptic. So, y'know. Don't let her forget it.

Comments

[diagnosispuberty]

[Hiro just sort of stares blankly at Sam.]

How...how do you not die?

[10_20_15_5_50]

Dressing in layers? Anyway, that's real winter. How were you gonna define real winter?

[diagnosispuberty]

...when it says "December" on the calendar.

[10_20_15_5_50]

[At that, Sam just laughs.]

At least you get that calendar winter isn't the same as actual winter, even if you're reducing actual winter to one month. January doesn't even count for you?

[diagnosispuberty]

Nahhh, it's just rainy then. It rains until about March, and then it gets warm again and all the cherry blossom trees start blooming.

[10_20_15_5_50]

I'm jealous. Or I would be, but...

[She spreads her hands: but, we're here.]

[diagnosispuberty]

[Heavy sigh, and Hiro actually looks homesick, probably for the first time since he's shown up here.]

Yeah. I know. I kinda miss it.

[10_20_15_5_50]

Only kinda? [It's a gentle question.] I do okay most days, but there are times when I miss home like hell. Couple weeks and I know it's gonna hit hard.

I also know it would hit a hell of a lot harder if I didn't have you around, so. Thanks for that.

[diagnosispuberty]

[Hiro shrugs his shoulders, head down now, staring at the table.] I...try not to think about it too much. I've got other stuff to do, and all.

...yeah. I mean. You too.

[10_20_15_5_50]

That makes two of us.

So! [Sam claps her hands together, setting that conversation aside for Another Time since it---like whatever her Kraken substitute is spiced with---seems to be best dealt with in small doses.] Movin' on to stuff to do. Specifically, December stuff to do. Thanksgiving panned out okay; you in for Christmas?

[diagnosispuberty]

[Thank goodness for Sam's timely moving away from the Grim And Sad topics and onto the greatest of all topics: Christmas.]

Um, yeah, duh, of course, can we start decorating right now?

[10_20_15_5_50]

No. I'm having my birthday first. We can start planning decorating right now, though. Real tree? Real tree. I'm a little torn, though...

On one hand, it would be cool if you and I went and just ourselves got one. Quality bonding time! On the other hand, though, it seems like a shame to chop a tree down, so I'm tempted to just take the top off one big enough to survive the loss.

[diagnosispuberty]

Um, duh, real tree. We should get like...a palm tree for your birthday. Cause there aren't any in crazy bizarro negative-forty-degrees land, I'm guessing.

...you can take the tops off?

[10_20_15_5_50]

That would be an acceptable birthday present. One just small enough to fit in a pot in the apartment, yeah.

You can! Or so I hear from a reliable source. One of the best teachers I had in high school apparently had the family tradition--when he was a kid, anyway--of shooting the tops of trees down, when his family lived in Alberta.

[diagnosispuberty]

...you want a tree for a present? I was thinking for like. Decoration. You need something cooler for your actual present.

See, that sounds a lot more like Canada to me.

[10_20_15_5_50]

If you want to give me something cooler, I'll take it. I was just ready to go with the tree cause I really don't need much. I have a nice place to live, I don't have to worry about bills, I got the sweetest ride... my situation is pretty good.

More Canadian: that was, apparently, the only reason they had the shotgun.

You got any ideas to table? I guess we could use ropes and Bon Ron to just gradually lower our tree without it getting beat up. You can climb, I can climb, we could probably get it cut down and home without caving and calling for help.

[diagnosispuberty]

[Have a blank look, Sam, because you are Missing The Point.] It's your birthday, though. You're supposed to ask for things you don't really need.

[Give him a moment to think...] I could build a hoverboard and fly up to get it.

[10_20_15_5_50]

In that case... More music? A better Tonara knock-off? The app I got now does the trick, but it isn't great. Those are the big things. The only other thing I've got off the top of my head is 'a new pair of gladiator sandals.' Isn't that dumb? They're the only thing-thing I miss, though, aside from my suburban. Had a bright red pair and always felt like I could kick anything's ass in them---which, honestly, cinched most of my interviews. When they were a thing.

[That seems like a long time ago. Back to looking ahead! She almost asks 'could you really,' but then thinks better of it.]

...I hate to exnay such a cool idea, but I really don't want you on a hoverboard or anything that goes over four feet up, or faster than twenty-five klicks.

[diagnosispuberty]

...you want gladiator sandals. [Sam, why are you secretly a weird aunt with questionable fashion taste?]

Is that Canadian feet or normal feet?

[10_20_15_5_50]

I could wear them all year, here. [Because this is Sam. Her horrible hobo pants---which, being more hole than whole, are two strong tugs away from being short shorts---are mercifully back in Manitoba.]

There's a difference?

[diagnosispuberty]

...okay, let's maybe...think of, uh. Something else. [Like Hiro has any room to talk. He wears the same pair of pants every day.]

I thought there was? Like...temperature and stuff? In the olden days? We're all on metric now, but when you're from, it's different, right?

[10_20_15_5_50]

I'd say 'surprise me,' but I dunno if I should chance it.

[Okay, that gets Sam to look up from her shake, expression one of genuine surprise.]

Feet are the same for whoever's using them, but yeah---K versus miles, degrees C versus F. We just tend to use feet for height frequently, because no real reason. When was the switch over to the metric system? I'm sorta shocked it actually ever happened.

[diagnosispuberty]

I'm offended you think I wouldn't be anything but totally awesome with present-giving, Sam.

[Hiro shrugs a little at the question, because it happened pre-him and therefore it barely matters.] A while ago. Right about when they changed the "you-gotta-be-born-in-the-states-to-be-president" law.

[10_20_15_5_50]

'Awesome' and 'dangerously enthusiastic' aren't mutually exclusive... So; surprise me.

Huh. Nice.