kismet_loop | [Video] Arms Race

[Dirge seems to be holding the drone like a selfie cam, even though its perfectly capable of floating at any angle on its own. He seems to be too excited to remember that.]

Today is a very good day. I knew following the light colors would lead me to something shiny.

[He turns the drone to the left revealing what looks like an honest to goodness pot o' gold.]

Yes, it is gold. And yes, its all mine. I've heard humans place high value on this particular ore. I can understand why- not only is it very pretty, but it tastes great. [Yup, he's been eating it. Maybe that's why his tongue is all sparkly?]

The gold isn't the only thing I found though... [Dirge's grin grows wide as he finally lets go of the drone, allowing it to float back a bit.]

There was also a strange little organic. Smaller than adult humans. Spoke funny. I was going to keep him but he offered me something if I let him go.

[Dirge lifts his arms in a shrugging motion and two more unfold from behind his back. He seems incredibly pleased with them.]

A wish! I've always thought having more arms would make everything easier- grab twice the stuff, put things away twice as fast, hold two times more things at once. Not to mention, two times the claws.

[He flexes them all to demonstrate-- twenty wicked teal knives are nothing to sneer at.]

Time to try these out in the warehouse~

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[but son of a bitch]

-- did you seriously just eat that.

Earlier, yes. I'm still debating on how much more to eat before I sell or keep the rest.

Interested?

[This post right here? These kind of things are why Jadewing thinks you're an idiot, Dirge.]

You do realize that you can't transform with those extra arms, right? And did you seriously just eat chunks of gold?

[Not that Cybertronians can't process gold, but it's usually only consumed in very small amounts as part of expensive confections, rarely seen since the war started. It's too scarce and too useful otherwise to be reduced to a common snack.]

Edited 2015-03-30 22:43 (UTC)

How...that...digestion? Is that a thing? For you?

[Dirge is...not the brightest.]

I can. They just sort of... hang out. But their benefits outweigh any negatives as far as I can see.

[The clone grins and hefts a piece of gold.] It's delicious. Really rich. You can't have any.

Oh, yes. It would be difficult if everything I ate just...hung around in there.

[He'd probably end up using it for storage.]

First the Sam Witch assumes I do not have the ability to taste, and now you wonder if I can digest my food?

Why do humans think they are the only ones who eat? [Granted, his diet is....a little different from other cybertronians.]

Well, you are made of metal, dude--

[Waaaait, back up and freeze.] Did you say there's a witch here?

So? [Frown.] I may not have squishy insides, but they work just fine.

I did! And she's already threatened to put a nasty hex on me!

Like...a metallic esophagus?

Oh jeez....wait, is it that girl with the tattoos?

[Esophawhat?] I'm...not exactly sure what that is. [Do humans have something he doesn't?]

...Or that. Is a tattoo also part of the human digestive system?

[Fortunately Hiro's entire ~~character arc~~ life is explaining human-y things to robotic individuals. So he's very patient as he explains.]

It's your throat. It starts breaking down food. And no, a "tattoo" is a...permanent picture on skin.

What, really? Of course I have a throat! [He jabs a sharp talon at his neck.] How else would I swallow anything?

Ah! Yes, the Sam Witch does have an interesting pattern on her skin, she claims it may grow with time.

Does it...exude mucus? [These are very intimate things and he doesn't even know your name.]

Well, uh, logically that's...kind of not possible...I mean, not without help. It doesn't grow like a plant.

[How many weird organic words are you going to pull on him, little guy?] If what you mean is... 'fluid'.... then, yes.

[Maybe he should go see if there is a human medical dictionary in the warehouse somewhere. It seems like it might be essential in talking to this one in particular.]

It's called lubricant. [He'll even demonstrate by sticking his rather long blue tongue out for you.]

And she is a witch- how am I supposed to know what she can and cannot do with her skin?

Dirge . . . you . . . what . . . ?

[Wow, congrats, sparkling. He can't even words now.]

[You think he won't start up a human anatomy class, but he totally will.]

...oh, sick, that's awesome! [You have earned his respect, even after literally eating gold~]

Uhhh, I don't think she's a witch... [Cause if she is, Hiro's broken some cardinal fairy-tale rules by moving in with her.]

[He reels it back in, jaws shutting with a clack.] I'm rather fond of it. I've had to have it replaced a few times and this one is definitely my favorite version.

What, she hasn't threatened to put a spell on you yet? Lucky. Ask her about it. Tell her Dirge is very interested to know if she's suddenly lost her powers~

Count them. Four arms. I'm so happy. [He waves them all at the camera for TC.]

Edited 2015-04-03 19:47 (UTC)

[flat]

I can see that.

I'm almost afraid to ask, but what exactly do you intend to do with extra appendages like that?

Also, if you'd REALLY wanted such a thing, I'm sure you could have talked to some of the medics at the hospital. Or maybe that Head Engineer or whatever the frag he's calling himself these days.

[That is both awesome and terrifying. He's like a chameleon with a retractable tongue.] Were the other ones that...slimy?

Well, I'm living with her right now so...maybe she's biding her time? [Great, because he didn't have ENOUGH to worry about...]

[She’s reluctant to talk to him...after he’d...taken her....and all...but she finally decides to anyway.]

Won’t the extra arms get in the way?

Well...that’s certainly something new.

[What the scrap, Dirge?]

Which is probably going to totally frag up your flight balance...

[Sigh]

Fine by me; I don't want to consume it, at least not in solid chunks like that. How much of it have you eaten, anyway?

Why wouldn't they be? I didn't have my lubricant ducts removed. [Huff.]

Hm...That sounds just like her. [He crosses his arms and nods.] Just don't make her angry or one day you may wake up unable to taste anything.

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