[video]

[10_20_15_5_50]

[Standing in her apartment, Sam is smiling, if a little uncertainly, as she leans away from a silvery snout; there’s a robotic moose nosing at her shoulder, like a horse hoping for a treat. It’s friendly enough, having done no worse than nose, but it’s the last thing she expected to find in her previously moose-free living room.]

The moose is not, itself, a problem. The moose is alright. The moose being trapped in my apartment because it can’t quiiite fit through the door, though---that is a problem. It doesn’t seem antsy or anything, but this is still too small a space for something its size.

Comments

[a_little_red_in_the_face]

I could always make the door big enough.

[Breakdown....no.]

[10_20_15_5_50]

[That just makes Sam laugh.]

And easily, yeah, I know, but could you make the door big enough without taking out the outer wall, the floor, and the kitchen or closet?

[It's kind of all the way across the room from the window she keeps climbing out of.]

[a_little_red_in_the_face]

Awww, take all the fun out of it.

[10_20_15_5_50]

Somebody's gotta pretend to be a responsible adult, here. And the floor is kind of important. I appreciate the offer, though. I think.

[diagnosispuberty]

[Loudly, from the other room:] HIS NAME IS RONALD UNDERWOOD.

[10_20_15_5_50]

[Sam doesn't miss a beat, shouting back,]

HENCEFORTH KNOWN AS 'BON RON'!

[because seriously given the size of this thing its important to establish that it is a good moose asap]

Also, why? And did you have anything to do with this?

[diagnosispuberty]

[Time to stop yelling because what if it distresses the moose? Hiro comes clumping in, patting Bon Ron affectionately on the head.]

Me? Responsible for the world's most awesome moose? I see how you might think so, but actually it wasn't me for once...

[10_20_15_5_50]

[The moose, at least, does not seem distressed; it simply lowers its head to facilitate the affectionate pats. As soon as those pats stop, Hiro will find himself receiving a friendly nudge to the shoulder. Like most moose, Bon Ron is nose-first in everything. Including nudges. Boop.]

Oh, really? That's almost as surprising as finding the world's most awesome moose.

[diagnosispuberty]

[Unlike most moose, Bon Ron does not want to antler-murder Hiro, so this is a good time all around. Another metallic-sounding clangy pat.]

It's probably a sign from the Canadian gods that you're doing their work. Maybe he's a...northern familiar?

[10_20_15_5_50]

[Murder doesn't even cross Bon Ron's mind. Although it is not the most expressive robot, it seems pretty content.]

I dunno, while I'd like to think Tommy and Tim would approve of my conduct to date, that seems like a bit of a stretch. Since he's friendly, though, I guess it's a moot point where he came from---even if it's amoose-ing to speculate. The real question is, what are we gonna do about the door? It wouldn't be fair to keep the poor thing cooped up in here, even if he doesn't really need to be exercised or anything,

[diagnosispuberty]

[Hiro is already thinking about how best to put eyebrows on the robot moose. Because that's the type of guy he is, wow.]

Amoose-- Sam, jeez. [Covering Bon Ron's ears.] Don't corrupt him with puns!

[Then, thoughtfully:] I could add, like, a dog door? A...moose door? Remote-activated, so people can't break in.

1/2

[10_20_15_5_50]

[THIS IS NOT THE FACE OF REGRET]

2/2

[10_20_15_5_50]

I like where you're going with this. We'd... well, probably have to take out part of the wall beside the doorway, and change the front of the closet so that it was sorta slanted [she gestures to indicate the slant, while Bon Ron just lowers his head a little further] but I like where you're going with this. We could have the human-sized door in the moose door, maybe?

And people shouldn't be able to break in anyway, but it's not like we've had anybody show up uninvited to test the ward.

[diagnosispuberty]

[Hiro nods, thoughtfully, drumming his fingers on the metallic moosey nose in thought. Bon Ron looks nonplussed.] Yeah, so we can still open that independently. Maybe replace it with one that retracts into the wall, lightweight shuttered metal or something, so he doesn't get his horns caught in it?

[Pause.] We have a ward? [Hiro Hamada, who literally forgets all the time that his roomie is a witch.]

[10_20_15_5_50]

Would it be easier to do one that retracts into the wall, or one that swings out to open so that when it opens it's held parallel to the ceiling in the hallway? It's not a narrow hall; it'd be wide enough for the height of the door.

[Sam just makes a chuffy little laugh noise, pointing to the door. Above the frame, there are several sigils; some are etched on, some appear to be black marker. In Hiro's defense they aren't conspicuous, but they are there.]

Dude, I bartered with a dragon to have a how-to---and I told you, I'm pretty sure, when you were wondering about a security system? The day I fought Bert? That I was gonna get a ward up on our digs.

[diagnosispuberty]

...I guess it depends on what materials are available...

[Hiro looks up, blinking a couple times, then walking over to get a better look at the sigils. He's a tiny guy, so he can't reach, but he can definitely see.]

I guess I thought that was...a figure of speech.

[10_20_15_5_50]

We could go to the Warehouse and see? Have them set aside, and then come back and draw up our plan of attack?

[Following him, Sam beams.]

Nah. If anybody tries to come in uninvited, it won't end well for them.

[diagnosispuberty]

.....can we make the plan to scale? [Hiro wants to draw on the walls too, Sam, plz.]

Will they, uh...explode?

[10_20_15_5_50]

No reason why not.

[REMEMBER HOW THE POTATOES WENT. You got yourself a pretty accommodating roomie, kiddo. Said roomie cracks up at the question, though, startling Bon Ron.]

No! Oh, no. Supposed to be immobilized, though, like they walked into a giant spider web that doesn't exist for the rest of us.

[diagnosispuberty]

[SHINY EYES OF JOY gonna draw all over this place.]

Cool. How's it work? How can it tell who's supposed to be here?

[10_20_15_5_50]

Well, threshold are important; they got a lot of symbolic oomph behind them, even on their own and just... naturally, y'know? It's why, in so many stories, some things---like vampires!---can't come in without an invitation. That stuff above the door kind of amplifies, kind of channels that oomph, though some bits of it also make our claim on the living space more... Concrete. Concrete, official, backed, because it's been put down. It's set that you and I are the only ones with the authority to issue invitations.

[diagnosispuberty]

[Wide-eyed stare.] All that in those little doodly things?

[10_20_15_5_50]

When they're done right and kinda kickstarted with a little extra oomph? Yeah.

[diagnosispuberty]

...and you're born knowing all this stuff? Or do you learn it?

[10_20_15_5_50]

[Sam's visibly thrown.]

Life would be so different if I just knew this stuff. I learn as I go, like for anything else.