[voice | private]

[10_20_15_5_50]

[locked to Soundwave]

Hey, Soundwave.

Would you happen to have a few minutes free?

[locked to Wing]

Wing, could we talk?

[later | locked to Breakdown]

Dude, I've got some stuff to talk to you about, whenever you're free for it.

Comments

[popculturecon]

Yeah sure, what's up?

[10_20_15_5_50]

I have a fairly substantial favour to ask of you. I'd like you to help me not get murdered.

[popculturecon]

What... are you doing that's gonna get you murdered? Like not that I'm saying I won't help you, I just don't wanna go in blind.

[10_20_15_5_50]

I can't fault you for that, and it's a bit of a story so I'm going to try and make it short.

The very first time I talked to him, I was surprised to learn Dirge actually ate. I was even more surprised to learn he'd eat absolutely anything, including people. I tried to explain to him that, for many practical reasons and, importantly on principle eating people was something that should be ruled right out.

He wasn't happy about that. He got testy and declared he would eat whatever he wanted. I wasn't happy about that, so I told him that if this included people he was gonna have problems, and that one of those problems would be me. I made a point of explaining that he couldn't correct that by just stomping on me because I would haunt the hell out of him and wreck... well, really everything. He concluded killing me wouldn't be worth the trouble, and I always stood by not wanting a beef---I wasn't going to give him any grief if he didn't eat or otherwise up and murder anybody, and I said so, and he gave me his word that he wasn't going to try and off me. For a while, all was well...

...but then the bastard tried to melt me.

[popculturecon]

He ate people?!

Okay no what happened next- Wait does this have something to do with him ripping his own throat out?

[10_20_15_5_50]

I don't know if he actually did or not, but I do know he was willing to eat people. He was at one point, trying to figure the plausibility of farming humans, which was what I heard when I came in with 'that idea is fucking awful why don't you raise some tomatoes instead.'

Yes, yes it does.

After he tried to melt me, I took away his ability to taste, which is what I had threatened to do if he killed anybody. I still feel that was fair, because although it was "only" an attempted melting, he still tried to kill somebody. Or maybe he meant to leave me in a living, Ellison-esque hell. That's not really better, but I digress.

Now he's desperate, willing to do anything if only he'll be able to taste again. Willing to leave me alone, willing to not murder anybody at all, etc, etc, only I cannot trust him to do what he says he will once he has what he wants. When I pointed this out, he offered to sign a contract. I don't know if he seriously believes that that makes a difference... which is where you come in.

[popculturecon]

Uh... well uh... I wanna help however I can. So what do you need me to do? It's not like I can scare him into listening to me.

[10_20_15_5_50]

[Sam smiles a little, by the sound.]

Trying to scare him into listening is my angle, anyway.

I need you, if you are able, to take a look inside his crazy-making head and tell me if he actually means to stand by whatever he signs.

[popculturecon]

Oh! Oh you... okay so you want me to do that... telepathy trick... on him.

No okay that's fine I can do that-

I mean as long as he doesn't freak out and try to like... stab me to death.

[video | same lock]

[knight_light]

Of course. What is it?

[video | same lock forever]

[10_20_15_5_50]

I'm going to need an escort for safety's sake in the very near future and was hoping you might not mind.

Re: [video | same lock forever]

[knight_light]

[Have a concerned frown.]

Not at all. Planning to visit the Warehouse for supplies?

[10_20_15_5_50]

Planning to negotiate, actually. And to try to wrap this all up.

[knight_light]

Negotiate? [Shocked...and maybe a little please.] With Dirge? How do you plan to do that?

[10_20_15_5_50]

Yeah.

[We'll see how long the 'pleased' part lasts.]

I don't trust Dirge, but he seems to take signed contracts seriously, and to be desperate. So, I'm thinking to present him with terms for having his sense of taste restored in contract form and have him sign... if he is serious.

[knight_light]

[Well, he's not worried yet.]

How do you intend to be sure?

[As much as he could wish that his disappointment had been enough of a blow to Dirge to have him serious, Wing wasn't sure he could count on that...]

[10_20_15_5_50]

I talked to Soundwave, and he's agreed to verify that Dirge is telling the truth, if he is.

[same lock]

[a_little_red_in_the_face]

Yeah? What's up?

[10_20_15_5_50]

Nothing too too serious [there's a hint of a smile in her voice, there] but some new developments I wanted you to hear about from me instead of anyone else.

[a_little_red_in_the_face]

Yeah? And what would that be?

[10_20_15_5_50]

Mainly that I went to do some negotiating with Dirge, but this time around I took Wing as an escort. I wanted to get a hold of you and explain why that was before you heard about what transpired, cause it's not on account of any doubt or anything. The opposite, really.

If you had been there, the whole time you would've held a portion of Dirge's attention by being someone he should be worried by. I needed to have his whole attention on what I was saying. You there, I wouldn't've been the threat in the room.

[a_little_red_in_the_face]

[He's actually not offended at all that she called someone else...which mildly surprises him. But he's a soldier, everyone has their place, and she needed someone who would support her, but not draw all of Dirge's attention from her, so Wing made sense.]

Yeah? And how'd it go?

[10_20_15_5_50]

[Ah, but it's good to hear him unbothered. Breakdown being Breakdown, Sam's sure that it'd be audible if he were bothered. She'd hate for the big guy to think she didn't feel sufficiently safe with him, when nothing could be further from the truth.]

It went alright. I think it kind of did a number on Soundwave, and Wing might have mixed feelings about it forever, but it was the surest route to a satisfactory resolution and oh, it is satisfactory. [Putting the other mechs in the positions she had hadn't been the high road---anything but, if she'd be honest---but it had worked well. Her tone lightens a little as she elaborates.] I pretty much have Dirge's ass. You should see the contract I had him sign! And it gets better.

[a_little_red_in_the_face]

[Oh, yeah, she’d have heard it if he was upset or offended, but as she explained, it made sense to leave him. Really, he’s used to this sort of thing.]

Yeah? So tell me about it, unless you have a copy I can see.

[10_20_15_5_50]

I do have a copy you can see! Just a second.

[Bwip! There's a picture of the signed contract sent.]

I'm gonna get a print made and put it up in my living room.